Book Report Sort of...

Since my lower back has been removed by aliens during a recent abduction and replaced with an efficient pain emitter, I've been relegated to two positions — standing or lying down.  Fortunately, while standing, I can play my guitar. While lying down I can read. I just read "Mr. God, This is Anna" by Flynn, and can't say enough about this account of such a wonderful child. You might think you're a tough guy and would rather read books where people get the crappola kicked out of them and there is ample woe and intrigue, where the good guys give their life for God and country etc., but Anna's the kind of person you'd give your life for. She lived to be 7 years old. She was found on a pre-war London street by a young man named only as Flynn. Flynn never tells us his last name. Flynn took her home to his family and they common law adopted this street urchin. The account is written by Flynn, 30 years after the death of Anna. It is quite remarkable. Contains the most brilliant street-smart theology, math and physics you'll ever read about. I think it quite Christlike for Anna to be at once loved by the prostitutes and to be at odds with the clergy of her time.

And speaking of amazing females. You have to read Joan of Arc, and my favorite account is by Mark Twain of all people. Anna and Joan of Arc are examples of God intervening in the lives of men. The vision, and the courage, the conviction and unwavering faith -- these are things we can be encouraged to cultivate, but Joan and  Anna brought those traits to us by special revelation and I think that that is just where we have to leave it and give thanks for.

Flossing Tips

It really takes a guy to tackle this topic — a woman wouldn't  let herself be seen in such an unflattering scene as this. But I will risk the possible ridicule of my fellow man in order to secure a better future for him (and her). Is not that true love?

I came across these flossing agents (GUM®) because my wife bought them for me as a travel help. Little did I know that it would actually help me become more hygienically consistent. And there is a reason men don't like to floss, not just me. One, we like the way our jaw is attached according to God's original design. Yes, we all admire the python's ability to be able to swallow a pig whole by unhinging his jaw, but we aren't built that way. Men have bigger hands than women and it is difficult to cram that much mass into a relatively small compartment. Ah yes, the garroting, and subsequent cutting off of the blood supply to the fingers given the task of spooling the new and used floss (gross in and of itself), and keeping said floss bowstring tight is also a slightly negative aspect to this act. Then you have the shrapnel of varying density and molecular make up flying to who knows where when the taut floss is made even tighter when being removed from between adjacent teeth and then has that tension totally and instantly released. Only what hits the mirror is usually noticed, be we men know from years of stand-up peeing experience, that the distribution of that urinal product is truly chaotic and the destination of that substance, like flossing debris emitting from the mouth at roughly 100 mph, cannot be controlled either.

Well, I really wasn't that self conscious of all the negative aspects to flossing until they were all eliminated! They are all done away with by this cool little tool. You may notice in the two un-retouched photos above, that the flossing with the GUM® tool is done with the mouth closed, without your hands in the oral cavity, and without 10' of floss wrapped around your purple fingers. Another benefit that is hard to picture is that with this tool you can use the power of your jaw to move the floss between your teeth simply by biting on the tool itself. This results in total, smooth, hydraulic-like control. The result of this control is less gum material being sliced by a tight floss wire as it hits the gum line at that same 100 mph!

Anyway I felt this subject important to include it in today's blog segment. Hope it's not too personal for you.

For better hygiene and living standards...Oh yeah you can go to: the G•U•M website here. They didn't pay for this by the way.

bob

Harrison Ford

When I draw I assume the facial expressions of the victim. It's impossible for me to do otherwise. Likewise, when I'm feeding a baby, I cannot keep my mouth closed as the spoon approaches the little guy's face. Normally this vicariousness works for me, but I think I put my back out drawing Mr. Ford's face!

By the way, the last 3 caricatures have been an experiment in drawing procedure. Normally I draw with the black ink first then add the gray marker for shading. Lately I have been blocking in the shading very quickly with marker first, then drawing the black lines, with a small bit of shading at the end. I think it is faster, more expressive and it is a lot more fun to draw this way.

Dennis Miller

And...the aforementioned Mr. Miller

Neal Stephenson

Neal Stephenson is an author that has my current attention. I'm presently reading Cryptonomicon, which is about a 1200 pager. I feel like a drug addict as I squirrel away time to read – trying to project a feeling of being sorry for myself because work is down, yet secretly nigh on giddy because it means I have more reading time. Stephenson is sort of like a cross between Tom Clancy and Dennis Miller. He gets you jacked up on ever building suspense and at the same time you might just wake the kids at 2 in the morning laughing your hiney off.

Now this is a cartoon my good friend and editor of the Moneychanger decided not to run. I always thought it was appropriately funny without being overly crude. It might be the only disagreement I've ever had with Franklin Sanders in the 20 years I've known him! But I run it here because my 58th B-day is coming up and I increasingly relate to this cartoon.