Book Report Sort of...

Since my lower back has been removed by aliens during a recent abduction and replaced with an efficient pain emitter, I've been relegated to two positions — standing or lying down.  Fortunately, while standing, I can play my guitar. While lying down I can read. I just read "Mr. God, This is Anna" by Flynn, and can't say enough about this account of such a wonderful child. You might think you're a tough guy and would rather read books where people get the crappola kicked out of them and there is ample woe and intrigue, where the good guys give their life for God and country etc., but Anna's the kind of person you'd give your life for. She lived to be 7 years old. She was found on a pre-war London street by a young man named only as Flynn. Flynn never tells us his last name. Flynn took her home to his family and they common law adopted this street urchin. The account is written by Flynn, 30 years after the death of Anna. It is quite remarkable. Contains the most brilliant street-smart theology, math and physics you'll ever read about. I think it quite Christlike for Anna to be at once loved by the prostitutes and to be at odds with the clergy of her time.

And speaking of amazing females. You have to read Joan of Arc, and my favorite account is by Mark Twain of all people. Anna and Joan of Arc are examples of God intervening in the lives of men. The vision, and the courage, the conviction and unwavering faith -- these are things we can be encouraged to cultivate, but Joan and  Anna brought those traits to us by special revelation and I think that that is just where we have to leave it and give thanks for.

Flossing Tips

It really takes a guy to tackle this topic — a woman wouldn't  let herself be seen in such an unflattering scene as this. But I will risk the possible ridicule of my fellow man in order to secure a better future for him (and her). Is not that true love?

I came across these flossing agents (GUM®) because my wife bought them for me as a travel help. Little did I know that it would actually help me become more hygienically consistent. And there is a reason men don't like to floss, not just me. One, we like the way our jaw is attached according to God's original design. Yes, we all admire the python's ability to be able to swallow a pig whole by unhinging his jaw, but we aren't built that way. Men have bigger hands than women and it is difficult to cram that much mass into a relatively small compartment. Ah yes, the garroting, and subsequent cutting off of the blood supply to the fingers given the task of spooling the new and used floss (gross in and of itself), and keeping said floss bowstring tight is also a slightly negative aspect to this act. Then you have the shrapnel of varying density and molecular make up flying to who knows where when the taut floss is made even tighter when being removed from between adjacent teeth and then has that tension totally and instantly released. Only what hits the mirror is usually noticed, be we men know from years of stand-up peeing experience, that the distribution of that urinal product is truly chaotic and the destination of that substance, like flossing debris emitting from the mouth at roughly 100 mph, cannot be controlled either.

Well, I really wasn't that self conscious of all the negative aspects to flossing until they were all eliminated! They are all done away with by this cool little tool. You may notice in the two un-retouched photos above, that the flossing with the GUM® tool is done with the mouth closed, without your hands in the oral cavity, and without 10' of floss wrapped around your purple fingers. Another benefit that is hard to picture is that with this tool you can use the power of your jaw to move the floss between your teeth simply by biting on the tool itself. This results in total, smooth, hydraulic-like control. The result of this control is less gum material being sliced by a tight floss wire as it hits the gum line at that same 100 mph!

Anyway I felt this subject important to include it in today's blog segment. Hope it's not too personal for you.

For better hygiene and living standards...Oh yeah you can go to: the G•U•M website here. They didn't pay for this by the way.

bob

Harrison Ford

When I draw I assume the facial expressions of the victim. It's impossible for me to do otherwise. Likewise, when I'm feeding a baby, I cannot keep my mouth closed as the spoon approaches the little guy's face. Normally this vicariousness works for me, but I think I put my back out drawing Mr. Ford's face!

By the way, the last 3 caricatures have been an experiment in drawing procedure. Normally I draw with the black ink first then add the gray marker for shading. Lately I have been blocking in the shading very quickly with marker first, then drawing the black lines, with a small bit of shading at the end. I think it is faster, more expressive and it is a lot more fun to draw this way.

Dennis Miller

And...the aforementioned Mr. Miller

Neal Stephenson

Neal Stephenson is an author that has my current attention. I'm presently reading Cryptonomicon, which is about a 1200 pager. I feel like a drug addict as I squirrel away time to read – trying to project a feeling of being sorry for myself because work is down, yet secretly nigh on giddy because it means I have more reading time. Stephenson is sort of like a cross between Tom Clancy and Dennis Miller. He gets you jacked up on ever building suspense and at the same time you might just wake the kids at 2 in the morning laughing your hiney off.

Now this is a cartoon my good friend and editor of the Moneychanger decided not to run. I always thought it was appropriately funny without being overly crude. It might be the only disagreement I've ever had with Franklin Sanders in the 20 years I've known him! But I run it here because my 58th B-day is coming up and I increasingly relate to this cartoon.

Quote from Merrill J.

This past weekend I had the valued opportunity to play with Merrill J. Miller, vocalist and guitarist hailing from Iowa, but living in our fair country (Alaska). An ad hoc assembly was put together by bass player, Pat "The Rat" Wendt including drummer, Marilyn Clement and yours truly. None of us had played together before. As we were setting up, two figures of authority in the small club we were to play in told me of their previous experience with loud bands. When I passed this on to Merrill, he stated the above quote, which were the first words concerning his musical theory shared with me. They truly were spoken with the voice of authority, without malice towards anyone and yet without mercy for the stupidity of hurting people with sound.

I drew the caricatures of a six man law firm today. For some reason I just felt like keeping at it so I took on ol' Nicholas Cage here. He's got a great face...

Tim Roth

Tim Roth. I saw him first in Rob Roy. He was a very good bad guy. Now he stars in a tv show called Lie To Me. The basis of that show has to do with face mapping and being able to read the involuntary muscle reactions to diverse emotional stimulus. A good portion of the book Blink, by Malcom Gladwell, is devoted to this recent science.

Quick "Tune Up" Caricatures

I get called upon at Christmas to do pary caricatures, so to prep for the gig I do fast ones of celebrities I can find pictures of. Not too hard now, thanks to Google...

Anchorage anchorman Mike Ross

And the perpetual bad guy, Sean Bean

Along with sunken eyes Ted Danson

I'm firmly convinced that the Foreclosure Crisis has been established by several brave men and women, trained mostly in the income tax legal arena, who saw the connection between unholy banking practices and unholy income tax applications, followed their perceptions, applied their skill and forcing banks and lending institutions into disclosure, and now have unearthed massive fraud. The comedy is in the statements by the big guys, who state, while packing their bags for a one way flight to Barbados, "We'll get to the bottom of this..."

Question

The court ruled that Joe Miller had to make his personal files available to the public on the basis that he was running for U.S. Senate, a position that gave the public the right to know about him and his background. I don't necessarily have a problem with that. What I do have a problem with is, why isn't that standard extended to our current president? Is it too much to ask for a legit birth certificate from the guy in charge of lethal force in America? Is it too much to ask, "How could you travel to lands unaccessible to U.S. citizens, without being the citizen of another country?"

New Sherlock Holmes

I saw the new PBS Mystery version of Sherlock Holmes

last night and was totally jazzed by

everything in this film. I loved the refreshing

angle on Dr. Watson who is seen in this

version as a much more aggressive individual--

yet nevertheless is totally bewildered by the

mental powers of Sherlock Holmes.

And rightly so. In this day of "forensic everything"

and all the crime gizmos available I was wondering

how they would set this Sherlock over and above

modern marvels. I didn't need to worry.

This Sherlock Holmes is, God help me,

my favorite even over the Jeremy Brett version. I've said it,

please have mercy. One thing I like is the story tellers

decision to bring you into the mind of Holmes as he

thinks with on-screen visuals of the facts S.H. is picking

up from the crime scene and individuals he meets.

It was wonderful. And it wasn't American. There were

very subtle scene transitions and an abundance of 

reasons to want to watch this again. Just imagine inspector Lestrade

texting Holmes requesting his help! I know it sounds like it

shouldn't work but it does and it really swings.

Sarah Palin Caricature

I'll go on record. I like Sarah Palin. She actually came out at my invitation when she was running for Gov. I had dinner with her and her daughter at a jazz gig I was playing at. I didn't know who I was going to back in the primary and she graciously came and answered my questions.

Russell Crowe Caricature

I really dig this guy as an actor. Seems like a decent chap. Although I've never met someone from Australia that I didn't thoroughly enjoy.

Indian House Script

The Indian House is in Indian, Alaska which is a beautiful 18 mile drive south out of Anchorage along the world famous Turnagain Arm. I play there on Friday nights and I've seen Dall Sheep, eagles, swans and pods of Beluga whales on my way to the gig. All are framed by a gorgeous inlet and mountains that crash right into the water. Sometimes the moon seems to hover over the waters of the inlet, bright enough to cast a moon shadow, majestic enough to make you feel insecure and awestruck. I lettered this script on a placemat and the staff wouldn't throw it away so I came home and did a clean version of it and screened it onto some black hoodies.

Indian House Caricatures

I play guitar at The Indian House, which is a restaurant/bar and feels like a home. There was a birthday party for James Glover, musician extraordinaire. His two children with their friends were there. I drew their caricatures and we had a blast.   

Tsunami

I got a call from a friend to do a T-shirt design for a Tsunami Warning Center. I haven't heard back if they like this or not, but I did and wanted to post this. This was done with a very cool brush pen made by Pentel. You can email me for more info on where to buy it. I lettered this while on the phone with a rather boring conversation..."Redeem the time for the days are evil" says our Lord, so I feel like I got off that phone call with some value. Oh yeah, I also threw in this idea for note cards...

Joe Miller Genetics